


Is he savable?

by Enigmaeneel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Backstabbed, Hermione Bashing, PostWar, Ron Bashing, Saving the savior, talks of self-harm, thought of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 07:18:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11375292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigmaeneel/pseuds/Enigmaeneel





	1. Chapter 1

There were tears rolling down his cheeks as he sat by the edge of the lake looking over towards the horizon, watching the sunset. Harry couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it. His two best friends of nearly 8 years had abandoned him when he needed it the most. How? Why? All questions he didn’t have answers to so he didn’t have closure. That’s what hurt most of all.

He remembered the yelling and the fighting, but can’t recall even a quarter of what was said. Harry was humiliated. It all went down in the middle of the great hall, the most public place in the entire of Hogwarts in Harry’s opinion, right in the middle of dinner. No doubt students had raced up to the Owlery to see who could send the news to the papers first. He could just imagine the headline of the Daily Prophet tomorrow now.

**_Golden Trio Ripped Apart by Unknown Issues._ **

Therein lay the issue, by unknown issues. All he remembered was sitting down to dinner next to Neville, making small talk whilst eating and having Ron and Hermione storm up to him and just start screaming. Thinking back over it, he vaguely recalled hearing Ron tell him it was all his fault, whatever it was.

The war ended 5 months ago and Harry, Ron, Hermione and a handful of others were back for their 8th year at Hogwarts. Voldemort was destroyed and Harry was hoping for a normal year at school. One month in and it was the same as always.

‘I knew it was all too good to be true. Why would they like me? It’s only taken them a few years to wake up to the fact I do nothing except bring trouble wherever I go. Why would that change?’ Harry thought to himself.

“See that’s where you’re wrong,” A voice behind him mentioned. Harry whipped his wand out and turned around ready to Stupefy whoever it was. When he turned, the spell on his lips he found he was facing Draco Malfoy, who had his hands up in surrender showing that he was indeed wandless and not here to cause harm.

Draco had been arrested by the Aurors after the war for his part in it, but with thanks to his age, Harry’s testimony to the Wizengamot, and his co-operation in telling the Aurors everything he knew that could be useful he only got off on a 3 year suspended sentence, on the condition he attended Hogwarts for his 8th year and achieved passing marks in all subjects. So far he had kept to himself as it was easier but a smile and a nod here and there in passing to Harry. He had watched from the other side of the hall when Hermione and Ron stormed in and ambushed Harry, yelling all kinds of nonsense and watched on in horror as Harry started to break and ran out of the hall. Draco subtly followed Harry and watched on from a distance for a while before he heard what Harry had said, and he knew he couldn’t stand back anymore.

He had been subtly watching Harry from the shadows since school went back, knowing that even though the war was over, Harry was still under a lot of pressure and it was going to break him sooner rather than later. Even though the War was over there was still the odd Death Eater on the run, who were no doubt all after Harry, blaming him for their ‘Lords’ demise. There were all the funerals that Harry had insisted on attending of every person who died in the battle. It was obvious to Draco that he was suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It really should have been obvious to everyone but because Draco could read behind Harry’s mask, and he honestly thought that Granger and Weasel could too, but he was wrong in that aspect apparently. He was disappointed in the saviours two best friends, well he guessed Ex- best friends, although he probably should have seen it coming. After all, as the Weasel has screamed at the dinner table, his brother, Draco wasn’t sure which one he had so many of them; had died in the battle. But that wasn’t Harry’s fault. It honestly could have been so much worse, and it was wrong to lump all the blame on Harry when Draco was positive he already carried around the blame of every single death in the war, even though it really and truly wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his job to save each person individually.

But who was going to be there to save Harry? Or was it already too late? Only time would tell.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Hours had passed, and Harry and Draco were found still sitting out by the lake, in a comfortable silence. The sun had long gone down and it was getting chilly. Draco noticed Harry shiver a little so he pulled out his wand and cast a slight heating Charm. Harry smiled and nodded in thanks. Harry mulled over the thoughts in his head, which he strongly disliked being in at the moment due to the thoughts he was having being dark and downright scary. He had never been one to consider suicide but with the way everything was going at the moment, all the non-stop crap that he seemed to be coping from everywhere, the pressure from absolutely fucking everyone, and the loss of his two now ex-best friends, he found himself question when enough was enough?

Draco watched on silently, wondering what was going on in his head, but knowing it couldn’t be pretty by Harry’s facial expressions. Draco wasn’t sure how to approach the subject with his one time nemesis who he owed his life too for saving him from the Room of Requirement. He was worried about what was going though his head.

“Are you okay?” Draco tentatively asked breaking the silence. Harry started to nod, and then thought better of it. Perhaps having someone to talk to was better than having no one at all. But Harry wasn’t known for talking about his issues. He tended to bottle up what was bothering until he exploded. This stemmed from not having anyone to talk to when he was younger. Not that his family would listen to him anyway because he was nothing but a ‘freak’ to them anyway. He would occasionally talk to Ron and Hermione when they started here, but he still kept a lot stored up.

It wasn’t like Harry could go and talk to them now, considering it was about them. It wasn’t until now he realized how much he had closed himself off. It was like he grabbed onto the first two people who paid him more attention than to insult him or degrade his self-esteem. Not like he had high self-esteem to begin with, again thanks to the Dursley’s. He found himself missing his parents & Sirius more than ever at the moment and he found that he wasn’t out of tears like he thought he was. Shortly after the tears started they turned into sobs. He was so lost. He was so alone.

Only, he wasn’t alone. Draco jumped when the sobs started but quickly pulled himself together and wrapped Harry into a hug letting him cry it all out. Draco knew it was coming. Draco was willing to bet his entire vault that Harry hadn’t had a chance to cry since the final battle. He was also willing to bet that Granger and the Weasel were so wrapped up in themselves that they hadn’t actually noticed Harry silently falling apart. Draco was angry, so angry that no one had noticed.

Draco continued to hold Harry while he fell apart, silently vowing to himself that he would help Harry pick up the pieces. He owed him that much at least. Once Harry calmed down a little and the sobs stopped coming Draco went to let go but a small voice stopped him.

“Stay?” Draco moved closer to the broken boy and continued to hold him. Harry laid down with his head on Draco’s lap, and grabbed Draco’s hand, placing it on his head, letting him silently know that Harry wanted a head rub, which Draco was more than happy to oblige. He felt privileged in an odd way that he was the one to witness the saviour break down like this.

“Do you feel better now?” Draco asked quietly, continuing to rub Harry’s head. He felt Harry nod on his thigh. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Harry thought about the loaded question for a moment before looking up into Draco’s eyes, seeing nothing but understanding there. So he slowly started with everything on his mind.

“After the war ended I honestly thought it would all just be normal. I could finally be an 18 year old boy w who gets to experience what others classify as normal I guess, but I was wrong. Ever since it’s just been non-stop. People asking me to do something or rather, whether it be present this, accept this, fix this. Constantly being in the Daily Prophet was draining as well. When school started again I thought I would finally get a chance to stop, to grieve, but being that we’re doing NEWTS, I’ve been studying non-stop for them.

“Being back here is exhausting in itself because everywhere I look I see something from the war, or see the blood in the great hall, the giant fucking line of dead bodies, who all died for me, and I did nothing to stop it earlier. So many people died and I just did nothing,”

“You didn’t do nothing Harry!” Draco defended. “You ended it. It could have been a lot worse than it was and you need to remember that. Every single one of those people who died in the battle were there because they wanted to be, not because you told them to fight. Whoever blames you for their deaths is in serious need of re-evaluation of the situation. People have no right to be angry at you,”

“But they are Draco. They’re angry because I couldn’t protect their brother, sister, cousin, mum, dad, whatever. It was my responsibility.”

“No it wasn’t.” Draco was determined to get through to harry no matter what it took. “Your responsibility was ridding the world of Voldemort and that’s a big enough responsibility for a 17 year old, but that’s been hanging over your head since you were born all because of some prophecy.”

“Well I think that’s why Ron and Hermione are angry at me. But I don’t know because I wasn’t even aware of there being an issue. They just come in screaming about Merlin knows what, because I honestly can’t remember, and that it. 8 Years of friendship down the fucking drain and for what? Because I’m fucked if I know. I feel betrayed, hurt and alone. I miss my parents and Sirius and I know how childish that sounds but God! I just can’t seem to catch a break. I don’t want to be alone anymore. What if the only way to not be alone was to end it all now? Is this seriously what I decided to come back for? All this shit? If I had of known this was what it was going to be like I would have continued on when I died.”

Harry’s rant left Draco speechless and Harry sobbing into Draco’s lap again. When he asked if he wanted to talk about it he had no idea this was what was going on in his head. Draco knew it probably wasn’t pretty, but this was completely out of left field for him. Things were really bad, and Draco wasn’t sure how to fix them or Harry. How did you put something back together that possibly didn’t want to be put back together? Draco was determined to find out.


End file.
